Tears for the Moon
by aishi22
Summary: As he is being tortured in prison by Seifer, the electricity brings forgotten memories to the surface of Squall's mind, revealing a part of his past that could never be.  WILL be changed to M rating later on
1. PROLOGUE

_a/n: Hi everyone, I'm back and alive~ For those of you who are still waiting on TAITS, I will be concluding that within these next two weeks so I can start the Sequel during the spring. So, this is my first Final Fantasy VIII fanfic (SxS)...enjoy~_

_**Tears for the Moon**_

_**Prologue:**_

He couldn't hold it back any longer. The scream escaped his lips and bounced off the metal walls of the room. His nerves were on fire and his body was writhing in pain as the electricity shot through his veins at an excruciatingly slow speed. But the pain didn't really register in his mind- it wasn't important to him just yet. The only thing that really made it through the fog in his mind was the one standing in front of him, smiling in a twisted fashion that he hoped- no prayed, didn't reach his eyes. The name floated through his foggy, clouded head.

…_Seifer…_

It seemed that whenever he finally managed to get the other boy off of his mind, he ended up meeting him in person right after. The first time had been when his squad had had witnessed Seifer disappearing with the sorceress, Edea. They had thought for certain that he was dead. At that time, the idea of Seifer being gone for good had been too much for him to handle. He had lost control- let his emotions get the better of him, and becoming lost in the storm of pain and despair, he had done what first came to mind- he ran.

Of course, when he finally came to terms with Seifer's death, Seifer returned back into his life, riding triumphantly next to the sorceress in her parade- the Queen he always dreamed of.

_Why?_ …it felt stupid, asking himself that. He already knew the answer- the boy had told him countless times back at Balamb. Squall felt his fist curl despite the pain.

…_his romantic dream…_

As the electricity increased, he felt himself slipping further and further away from consciousness, yet as he remembered the strange and eerily familiar warmth that had flooded through him when Seifer had grabbed hold of him to take him to the torture room, fragile memories of a seemingly forgotten past had wormed their way back into his mind. As his eyes closed they became all too clear.


	2. Chapter 1: Warriors of the Same Weapon

a/n: Thanks to all of you who left reviews~ Without further ado- here is chapter one~

_**Tears for the Moon**_

_**Chapter 1: Warriors of the Same Weapon**_

Squall yawned and gazed around the class through lazy eyes. The same people were there which meant that everyone in his class must have passed the practical unit. The practical unit had been mostly written, hypothetical work about how to act on a mission, when to use a weapon, etc. Squall sighed. _At least now the basics are done…_

His thoughts came to a stop as Instructor Trepe walked into the room, looking timid and determined. _Whatever it is we're doing today, it's making her look more strict than usual…_She came to a halt, standing behind her desk.

"Good morning class." A few people (mainly the Trepe-ies) responded enthusiastically,

"Good morning Instructor Trepe!" Smiling a little, she continued,

"As most of you have probably noticed, it will be of no surprise to you when I announce that everyone in this class passed the practical. Everyone- congratulations." After some cheering and clapping, she went on,

"You're getting closer to becoming a SEED already. Now that you have finished the practical, we will begin the Weapons Unit. As you know, most SEEDS have one specific weapon they have learned to master and wield on the mission if danger arises. Starting today, this is your job."

Across from his seat, Squall heard someone hiss under his breath, _"…about time!"_ Squall didn't even need to turn to know who had said that. Only Seifer would voice his opinions out loud like that. Squall was tempted to roll his eyes. The other boy was all ego and hot air; he probably wouldn't make it through to the SEED exam. But, then again, he didn't know Seifer well…for all he knew, that ego could be a façade.

"Now if you will all follow me, we will head to the weapons hall so you can choose your new weapon." Everyone hastily stood up and followed the Instructor, Squall somewhat lagging behind.

Upon reaching the hall, everyone scattered left and right, going to look at the various weapons available. Sighing, Squall was about to head off to the sword section when something gleaming caught his eye. Entranced, he followed the gleam and came to a stop right in front of a display of two weapons labeled 'Gunblades'. Although Squall tended to not believe in superstitions, he couldn't help but admit to himself that the weapon seemed to be almost calling to him.

Before he could get lost in his thoughts, he heard someone approaching from behind, and suddenly Seifer was standing next to him, gazing down in awe at the second weapon. Squall couldn't help but wonder if Seifer was getting the same feeling as him.

A voice called out behind them. "Ah- Squall, Seifer!" Headmaster Cid walked up to the two of them, his normal, gentle smile gracing his aging face.

"And what weapons have you chosen?" Cid caught sight of the gunblades and a strange look that Squall could not find the words to describe appeared in his eyes.

"Gundblades…I see. Well boys, why don't you try holding them and giving them a good swing or two?" Squall and Seifer's eyes met for a moment and then the other boy grabbed the silver gunblade in one hand. Squall bent down and tentively picked his own up in both hands.

Instantly a strange sort of confidence came over him, something he didn't often experience. It was empowering yet humbling in a sense. Out of the millions of weapons, he had found the one meant for him, and him alone.

Cid's eyes gleamed as he gazed at the two of them as they turned to look at him.

"…try it." They didn't need a clearer explanation- they knew what he meant.

Seifer swung down at him and Squall blocked it, striking back with an almost equal force. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as Squall continued to spar, and only when both of them tired enough to stop did he realize that everyone had gathered around to watch.

Cid stepped over to Instructor Trepe and said with a strange sort of pride in his voice, "Instructor Trepe, it seems you'll have two gunblade masters soon enough." He began to walk towards the door, but turned, saying "Squall and Seifer should be training partners- they'll learn better that way." Instructor Trepe sighed, shook her head, but nodded at the two of them. Squall sighed on the inside.

_This is going to be an interesting year…_


	3. Chapter 2: Signs of Danger

_a/n- Hey everyone, sorry for the delay! Thanks to all of you who read, and especially to those of you who took time to leave reviews- love yah!_

_**Tears for the Moon**_

_**Chapter 2: Signs of Danger**_

Squall stifled another yawn and refocused his eyes as Instructor Trepe walked in. Everyone went quiet except Seifer who was showing off his gunblade to the surrounding students. Trepe sighed and shaking her head, said,

"Seifer, class has begun." Seifer was still smirking when he replied,

"Sorry Instructor." Trepe decided not to push it too far and instead began speaking to the class.

"Today will be your first day of training in the training center. Upon entering I will give you a demonstration of the effective ways to battle the common monsters, and then I will release you to go train, understand?" Everyone nodded.

Trepe continued, "Now that you have the slightest authority to use the training center, I will explain to you the rules you must follow." A few people groaned. Squall sighed, and shutting his eyes, rested his head on the desk.

"Because you ware all beginners in the weapons unit, it is required that you have at least one other person with you at all times when in the training center. Breaking this rule will result in suspension from the training center."

"What a bullshit rule! We won't always have someone to rely on so why train us this way?" Seifer hissed angrily. For once Squall was in agreement with him though he wouldn't admit it out loud.

"Next, for your own safely, until you've completed twenty hours of day time practice, no one from this class is allowed to use the training center at night. More dangerous fiends tend to be active at night."

More people let out sounds of annoyance. Trepe smiled at the class. "I'm sure none of you are stupid enough to break the rules. So, why don't we head over?"

* * *

Squall had to keep himself from yawning. _This lecture is dull- I wish she'd hurry up with it. These are basic tactics anyway…we should already know this._ Squall turned his gaze to his classmates. The majority of them looked as bored as he was feeling, minus the small minority that were absorbing everything Trepe said.

As he gazed around the others, he realized that Seifer was no longer standing to the right of him. Looking down at where he had been standing, Squall noticed footprints leading towards the entrance doors. He sighed. _…what is he up to?_ Taking one last look around, Squall quickly yet silently followed the footprints and passed through the large metal doors.

As he took a few steps forward, Squall noticed another pair of tracks, these being much larger than Seifer's with three large toes. He gulped. _T-Rexaur…_ Without giving it much thought, he ran quickly around the corner, gunblade out and ready only to see T-Rexaur closing in on Seifer.

Seifer noticed him instantly. He still had his stupid smirk plastered onto his face, but Squall could tell from his eyes that Seifer was re-thinking his actions. Squall pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. _Now what did the Instructor say was effective against T-Rexaur?_ His eyes shot open as he heard Seifer fall over and exclaim, "Shit!" He was holding his arm which seemed to be bleeding from a large gash.

As squall tried to suppress a yawn, the answer came to him clearly. Jumping in front of the fallen Seifer, he focused all his energy into one clear word spoken in his mind.

_Sleep!_ Relief swept over him as he watched the giant monster lower his head and breathe evenly. Grabbing Seifer's wrist, Squall pulled him the way he came. _Let's get out of here before it wakes up…_

Upon reaching the doors, he pulled Seifer to the side. "...your cut okay?" Squall frowned. _If he goes to the infirmary, Trepe will know he broke the rules...and then I might be dragged into this mess, knowing how Seifer is..._

"Yeah; the bleeding has mostly stopped." Squall nodded and turned to the exit.

"Hey-Squall." Squall halted, though he didn't know why he bothered. Knowing Seifer, he was probably just going to say something not worth listening to. When Seifer didn't continue, he sighed mentally and spun around to look. Seifer was looking down at his feet, no clear expression on his face. "…thanks."

Squall was surprised- Seifer wasn't one to show gratitude. Still, he felt it would be best not to show his shock, so he continued to say nothing, instead shrugging and walking through the doors to rejoin class.

* * *

Squall stared up at his ceiling, once again unable to fall asleep. Naturally the day's 'adventure' came to mind, and sighing, he rolled over onto his side, his face facing the wall.

_What came over me today? Why did I break the rules and risk my life to save Seifer of all people? He's a pompous bastard who bullies those weaker than him…so why? _

The image of Seifer apologizing came to mind. _Okay, so maybe he's not all that terrible…and maybe we agree on a few things, but still…what was I thinking? It's almost like my body acted on its own…_

Sighing angrily, he rolled over onto his back, once again looking up at the white ceiling above him. Just as he was about to close his eyes and try to get some sleep, there was a knock at his door.

_Who the hell is knocking on my door? _Getting up, Squall somewhat stomped over to his door and threw it open.

…Seifer smirked right back at him, gunblade shining from the dim lighting outside.


	4. Chapter 3: Varying Phases

a/n: Oh my god, I'm soooooooooo sorry guys! This was supposed to be done like, two months ago and I only finished it now! -_- Even if life has been keeping me busy, this is just sort of pathetic... But at least it's done now... Anyway- thanks to all of you lovely people that left a review and sorry for the long wait! Enjoy 3

_**Tears for the Moon**_

_**Chapter 3: Varying Phases**_

Upon seeing Seifer at his door, Squall did what his instincts told him to do- he tried to shut the door on the other boy, but of course, Seifer was one step ahead and placed his foot in the doorway, blocking the door from being closed even when Squall tried to slam it and hit Seifer's foot in the process.

Seifer smirked. "What, don't even want to hear me out, Princess?"

Squall frowned. "What is it you want Seifer?" His eyes landed on Seifer's weapon. Seifer noticed this, and if anything, his smirk managed to grow.

"…I was just going to go train some more…was wondering if you'd have the guts to tag along, since training is more effective when you have someone to actually fight." Squall blinked at him.

"Seifer, you know that entering the training center at night is against the rules, right?" Seifer rolled his eyes.

"And that rule is just _so practical_, isn't it? Because as SEEDS we'll _never_ have a mission in the dark, right? And we'll _never_ have to go up against enemies tougher than ourselves, right?" Seifer frowned. "Come on Squally, even _I _know that's complete and utter bullshit, so why not break a few rules and get the _real_ experience?" Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"My name's Squall- not Squally and definitely not Princess." There was stillness and silence for the next few minutes, until finally Squall opened his eyes and looked back up at Seifer.

"…you're right, let's go." Seifer smirked, yet, as he turned to lead the way, Squall's mind felt somewhat numbed at what he had just seen.

…_did Seifer…just smile?_

_

* * *

_

The dim light they were passing by in the hallway leading to the training center flickered, but neither of them blinked at the sight, both figuring it was just faulty wiring at work. After all, neither of them knew how old the Garden was- they weren't in SEED training for Garden History…they were in it for the fighting and tactical skills they both wanted…needed for their future dreams.

Reaching the double iron doors leading into the training center, Seifer turned to look back at Squall, and Squall knew that the older boy was looking for any traces of doubt or anxiety with breaking the rules. Rolling his eyes, Squall walked up to the doors and pulled them open, stepping inside quietly, Seifer following behind.

The instant they stepped through the large metal doors, Squall knew they weren't alone. Glancing behind him at Seifer, Seifer returned the gaze and nodded silently- he knew. They moved forward slowly until Squall could hear whatever it was coming closer just around the corner. They both pulled out their weapons.

Squall mentally sighed. _I'm not sure what would be worse- an instructor or T-Rexaur…_

There was a scuttling sound. They both tensed up, prepared for what was about to come. From around the corner came…

…a flytrap weed.

Seifer burst out laughing. "Really? Just a flytrap weed? I think we can handle one small runt." Squall shook his head at Seifer's outburst. Though he was relieved that it hadn't been something bigger, Squall wasn't going to jump for joy.

…and even if for some reason he had wanted to, there was no way he was going to after the next few seconds.

The flytrap had let out a shriek, and a few seconds after eleven more flytraps dropped out of the trees, followed by a large serpent-like creature Squall had never seen before. The creature's two large fangs gleamed pure white in the darkness.

Seifer turned to look at him. "Split up- I'll go left, you right." Nodding, Squall took off running, wondering how many he'd be able to lose before he met up with Seifer again on the other side of the training area.

Luckily enough, the Flytraps were fairly poor runners, and after the first few minutes they began to die off, finding something else to prey on. After another few minutes, all that he could hear following him was the serpent, the sound of it sliding on the ground the only way he knew it was still there.

* * *

Squall came to a stop as the last sound of slithering died away behind him and looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was in a further part of the training area- an area he had only been in once during daylight. Now moonlight shone in through the clear roof, the bright colours of the plants were dim, and the sound of water reached his straining ears.

It was peaceful…almost _too_ peaceful.

Walking forward, Squall suddenly was overcome with dizziness. He knew fairly well that if he was dizzy he should stop and rest, but for some strange reason he could not explain, a sense of urgency had come over him- he _needed_ to reach the water. Struggling up onto the old pier that stopped at the pond's surface, Squall's head began to spin worse and nausea overcame him.

Even so, it wasn't enough to stop his burning curiosity. The water before him sparkled in the light of the full moon as it lulled against the wooden poles of the pier.

Squall blinked, his eyes gazing wide at the full moon reflected upon the water's surface. _No…that can't be right…_ Looking up at the ceiling made of thickened glass, Squall's suspicions seemed confirmed, and he looked down at the reflection perplexed.

_The reflection is that of a full moon, yet…_His eyes gazed back up at the night sky. _…the moon itself is a waning crescent?_

When his eyes went back to looking down upon the reflection in the water, everything went dead silent- no sound of water below him, fiend calls in the distance, and not even any thoughts in his own mind. Everything had been muted.

The sickness returned stronger than ever. Squall needed to move yet his body was unresponsive still. He couldn't peel his eyes away from the reflection- the sickly full moon staring right back at him. A buzzing sounded in his ears, becoming louder and more high-pitched by the minute. So painful was the sound that Squall regained the use of his arms, clamping his hands over his ears in a futile attempt to stop the noise. He squinted- tried to close his eyes and take a step back but only succeeded in making the pain worse, almost bringing him to his knees.

Losing what little control he had left, Squall could only watch silently as his body pitched forward, breaking the surface of the water with a SPLASH.

His body shivered but his eyes remained open. _It's cold…so cold…_ In the darkness of the water two cold, pale lights gleamed faintly up at him…crystal blue eyes boring into his own with both animosity and understanding.

A cold, liquid, alien voice sounded through the freezing water and Squall's silent mind.

"…_one cycle you have…just one…"_ The eyes dimmed…began to disappear. _"…find me…when it is the time you need me the most…_"

The eyes disappeared…and Squall's world went black.

* * *

Light shone on Squall's face and he winced as his eyes shot open and water came up his throat and spurting out of his mouth. There were hands on his chest, pressing down, forcing the water up. He tried to push them away weakly, but the attempt was apparently enough because they disappeared. Feeling terrible, Squall forced himself up into a sitting position, his eyes meeting Seifer's almost worried-looking face.

"What happened?" Seifer raised an eyebrow.

"I should be asking you that, Princess. I'd just spotted you standing over on that pier, and before I could get over there you fell right in- you weren't pushed or anything. I had to jump in and pull you out before you drowned, but even then you took in a lot of water." Squall blinked in surprise. Now that he looked, he realized that Seifer was indeed soaked, and looking down as he shivered, he realized he was as well.

He tried to remember what happened…falling into the water…but he couldn't. Couldn't remember anything. He shook his head and sighed.

"I can't remember." _…but I feel like there's something I was supposed to remember…something important. What was it…?_

Seifer shrugged. "Well, at any rate we should probably head back now."

* * *

They walked back to the dorm rooms in silence, but when they reached Squall's door, Squall turned to look at Seifer. "…thanks for keeping me from drowning." He expected a smirk and condescending laughter, but instead all he got was a level stare and a slight frown on the other boy's face.

"Yeah…well, we're even now."

With that Seifer turned and left and Squall closed the door, his mind burning with two questions…what it was he forgot, and why Seifer would show such sincerity to him.


	5. Chapter 4: Struggle and Nightmares

_****a/n: Hey everyone! Sorry for the giant break for this that came out of nowhere! So just some basic stuff: this is sort of a filler chapter except for some hints at future plot details. The real plot-oriented chapter is next! The next chapter I plan to have out around the 24th...no later than the 26th. Please check my profile for updates on TftM as well as my other fanfics. Much love for all of you! 3~ aishi22  
_

_**Chapter 4: Struggle and Nightmares**_

_It was cold…so cold. It felt like his whole body was shivering and he felt as if he had been drenched in water. When he breathed out he could see his breath—frost in the thin air. All around him was dark; he couldn't see anything or anyone near him, though when he looked down at his hands he found that he could see himself quite well…his skin seemed to be extremely pale and appeared to almost glow. He turned his gaze towards what he assumed would be the sky…or a ceiling…or something. _

"…_where am I…?"_

_Almost like it was answering him, there was a burst of light from above, and when he was able to see properly again he watched it fall for a distance and finally land not too far away from where he was standing._

_He knew he needed to get there…that there was something there waiting for him._

Squall's eyes opened lazily and he brought his hand up to shield them from the light streaming from his window. He had been so exhausted upon returning the other night that he had forgotten to close the blinds. Groaning, he rolled over and tried to bury his face in his pillow, but he knew that he would have to get up and get ready for class against his will. However, in those few minutes he spared himself, he found his mind elsewhere.

He had slept last night…_slept_. For the last few weeks just getting to sleep had been a challenge, and whenever he did manage it he normally ended up getting light sleep due to nightmares. But as he rolled over onto his back, Squall realized that he had not only slept all the way through the night, but he couldn't remember any nightmares. Rather, the only feeling he got when he tried to remember what his dream was about was just a hollow sense of urgency that he couldn't pin on anything.

Shrugging to himself, Squall forced himself out of bed for a new day.

When he reached the classroom it was as noisy as always. His eyes shifted to Seifer in the back, who was acting completely normal, his loud, boasting voice reaching the front of the classroom from the back. He felt a small sense of relief seeing this while remembering Seifer's strange bout of kindness the night before, which for some reason or other left Squall feeling awkward and slightly anxious.

Of course, when they were actually dueling in the training center Squall was beginning to find he was feeling differently. The lack of proper sleep and being up late the other night was taking its toll and him, and not for the first time he found his gunblade go flying out of his hand as he fell back into the mud, Seifer's loud laughter ringing through the training center.

"That really the best you can do Ice Princess?" Squall bit back a retort about how it was Seifer's fault in the first place that his reflexes we so slow and instead struggled up to retrieve his weapon, knowing that he wasn't going to be doing much better with it.

By the time Squall reached the cafeteria for lunch he was more tired than hungry and was half-tempted to just head back to his room to see if he could regain some of the sleep he lost the night before. But seeing as how he was already there, he put that thought aside and found his way to the line.

It's pretty long today…must be hotdogs. He couldn't even muster up a sigh. Standing there, Squall found that his eyelids were feeling rather heavy, and against his will they closed and the loud noise of the cafeteria dimmed and faded away. He felt calm…relaxed…an unusual feeling due to his uptight personality. He rather liked it.

"Hey chicken-wuss, get out of the way."

"Screw off Seifer! I was here first, and—ahhh!"

Something heavy crashed into Squall, knocking him to the ground and awakening him to reality rather painfully. Opening his eyes, he only saw bright light for a moment, but once his vision returned he found himself sprawled over the floor, Zell on top of him. Squall frowned and his eyes darted between Zell and the smirking Seifer standing a few feet away.

Zell instantly piped up, "Dude, I had nothing to do with this! It was all Seifer's-" Squall, already starting to get a headache shoved Zell off of him, and unable to control his movement, stood up and started walking towards Seifer. Seifer laughed.

"Aww, was Squally's feelings hurt?"

Squall knew he shouldn't do what he was about to do deep down. He knew but at that one, grand moment, he just didn't care. Something inside him had snapped from the lack of sleep, stress, and abuse from Seifer…

…so when his fist slammed into the blonde's face, he couldn't have cared less about the consequences. Watching the boy stumble back, pain clearly showing on his face, he had never felt better. It was short-lived however, as Seifer, quickly recovering from the shock, lashed back at him, smashing his fist into Squall's gut, knocking the wind out of him. Squall lost complete control, and before either of them realized it, they were brawling each other in front of the most of the Academy. People were cheering and shouting but neither heard any of it. They didn't hear the teachers yelling either until Quistis literally threw herself between the two of them and pushed them apart.

"That's quite enough!" Breathing heavily, Squall wiped some blood from his mouth and gazed at Seifer whose hand was probing cautiously at a swelling eye. "I don't know which one of you started this, but you're both going to pay. Detention—be at the classroom at eight sharp."

When Squall opened the door to their classroom Seifer was already there. He had been gazing out the back window but turned to smirk at Squall as he entered. Squall gazed right back, a small part of him wishing he hadn't entered so loudly, because the brief look he had seen on Seifer's face before he hid it behind the smirk was one Squall wouldn't have expected to ever see on the boy's face. Despite whatever he had seen, Seifer when he spoke up sounded like his normal self.

"Took your time, Princess." Rolling his eyes, Squall crossed his arms and looked around the half-lit room.

"Where's Instructor Trepe?" Seifer walked over and leaned up against one of the front desks.

"Clearly not here. She left a note though." He motioned to Trepe's desk in front of him. Sighing, Squall walked over and picked up the small piece of paper.

_Squall and Seifer,_

_Unfortunately I'm unable to make it to your detention—called out on a mission suddenly. Cid seemed to believe you two wouldn't need supervision despite other people's opinions on the matter._

_You two need to wash and polish every desk in this room. I'll be checking when I return. Also, if there is anything missing or broken detention will be the least of your worries._

_- Quistis Trepe_

When he looked up from the letter Seifer had crossed his arms, annoyance showing in the way he held himself. "She forces us to come here but doesn't even show up herself…stupid."

Squall shrugged, though he silently agreed with Seifer. Not wanting to waste time bitching about it, however, Squall reached into the desk and pulled out the cleaning equipment.

"Let's just get this over with."

Their walk back to the dorms was mostly silent, which Squall was somewhat surprised by considering how talkative Seifer had been throughout their detention. He certainly wasn't going to complain about it, but seeing him so quiet made Squall think back to when he had first entered the classroom and spotted Seifer. What had he been thinking about so deeply back then? Was he thinking about it now?

…what could possibly make Seifer Almasy so _reflective_?

As they finally came to a stop in front of Squall's door and Squall paused to try and locate his keys, Seifer finally spoke up.

"Hey Princess,"

"What?" Squall was too tired to care that he responded to one of the boy's pet names.

"Mind if I stay the night?" Squall frowned as he placed the key in the door.

"Why?"

"I forgot that I gave Raijin my key earlier, and with the way he sleeps there's no chance I'll be getting it back tonight."

Squall was sure that if he had been in his right mind he would have said no and closed the door on the other boy. But instead he found himself opening the door and saying,

"Fine, if you don't mind the floor." Seifer shrugged so Squall let him in. Grabbing an extra blanket and pillow from the closet, he unceremoniously chucked them at the boy as he passed by (for which he was given an almost sarcastic 'thanks' in return), and feeling too exhausted to give a fuck about changing, flopped down onto his bed and pulled the blanket over him. After a minute the shuffling sound faded and Seifer settled down as well.

But not matter how much he wanted to fall asleep, just one thing kept him awake, and finally, in a pre-sleep delirium, Squall found the question falling from his lips.

"Back before I came into the classroom…when you were looking out the window…what were you thinking of?" Squall's eyelids began to fall and when Seifer spoke up, his voice sounded faded and far off.

"…my romantic dream."

Before he fell unconscious, Squall's final thought was, _Seifer…has a _romantic_dream?_

Seifer sat in the dim moonlight besides Squall's bed, knees pulled up to his chest, his head resting on top of them. His eyes were glued to the figure lying on top of it. He was frowning, but his eyes fell gently upon the boy, who was writhing and flinching in his sleep, clearly being tortured by some pretty awful nightmares. Seifer wouldn't be shocked if he touched under Squall's eyes only to feel water from tears.

_How long has he been suffering like this? When did it start? I…I can't…_

Seifer's thoughts lapsed into silence as the night moved on.


	6. Chapter 5: Intoxicated Kiss

_****a/n: Yessss, finally a day early instead of several weeks late :P So I'm very happy with this chapter...it was pretty easy to write. Anyway, for the date of the next chapter check my profile page~ Reviews are welcome :) Also:_

_**WARNING:** This chapter begins the real Slash shipping (because this /is/ a SeiferxSquall fic)...so if you think you'll get squicked out by that ship, then you'd best not read further.  
_

_**Chapter 5: Intoxicated Kiss**_

Squall looked down at the piece of paper he had just been handed by Xu in the cafeteria, confused but not enough to voice it out loud. He read it over once more, then looked back up at Xu. Xu only smiled back, but after a few seconds asked,

"Have you seen that Seifer around? I have to deliver one to him as well…" Squall shook his head.

"Haven't seen him all morning." It wasn't a lie…when Squall had woken up the morning after their detention Seifer and any trace that he had stayed the night had disappeared like a dream. Part of Squall still wondered if it had even happened. Xu sighed and waving goodbye over her shoulder, left the cafeteria in search of the other boy. Shrugging to himself, Squall turned his eyes down to the piece of paper in his hands.

_Squall, please report to my office immediately. We need to discuss something of great importance._

_ -Headmaster Cid_

Walking towards the lift at the center of Balamb Garden, Squall couldn't help but wonder why Cid wanted to see him, and what could possibly be so important. When Xu had told him Seifer had also been summoned he wondered if maybe someone had ratted the two of them out for being in the Training Center at night, but Squall had a feeling that Cid wouldn't exactly label that as 'important'. He pressed the up button for the lift and frowned.

_Why would he be telling two trainees something important? Wouldn't it make more sense to tell a few SEEDS instead?_

So lost in his thoughts, Squall didn't hear the footsteps behind him. When hot air passed right by his right ear he jumped in surprise, spinning around and prepared to attack whoever or whatever it was…when he realized it was just Seifer standing there smirking at him. He felt anger boil up but refusing to admit the boy had got at him, he spun around to face the lift that had just landed and opened, allowing a few chatting trainees out. As they brushed by Squall picked up bits of their conversation.

"…_Instructor Trepe still isn't back"_

"_Neither is…"_

"…_could be going on that would"_

"_something serious…"_

Squall blinked. _Instructor Trepe isn't back yet from her mission?_ He shouldn't have been surprised, but normally when Instructors were given missions, they were short ones so that classes wouldn't have to be stopped for too long a time. And normally Instructor's weren't even top choices for missions. _Strange…_

"Earth to the Ice Princess!" Squall blinked only to look up from the ground to a smug looking Seifer standing in the open lift. "Coming along?" Squall frowned and hurried into the lift right before the doors closed.

The silence in the lift between the two of them felt heavy and strangely awkward. Squall kept his eyes on the ground but he could feel Seifer's full gaze on him, almost as if it was looking for something specific on him. Finally Squall let out an exasperated sigh and looked up at Seifer.

"What?"

Seifer seemed to hesitate for a moment and he looked conflicted when he spoke.

"…how long have you been having nightmares?" The question contained no laughing, teasing tone, but rather one of interest and confusion. Squall was a bit shocked and a bit embarrassed, and he was pretty sure that there was some colour in his face. _…so I guess he really did stay the night…_

"…"

Squall stared back at Seifer, refusing to answer, but when Seifer refused to look away, he glared.

"Why do you even want to know?"

When the other boy replied, Squall noticed that Seifer's posture seemed a bit defensive, and his eyes, guarded. The lift stopped and the door opened.

"…just seemed pretty bad." Seifer replied as he brushed past Squall exiting the lift.

For a second Squall just watched the other boy walk off and tried to think of any reason why Seifer would be acting so…abnormal the last few days. But of course, to figure out that mystery would take too long, and shrugging to himself, Squall exited the lift and followed Seifer through the doors to Cid's office.

* * *

Headmaster Cid looked up from the appalling stack of paperwork on his desk as the two entered the office.

"Squall, Seifer, I'm glad Xu was able to hunt you two down." He motioned for the two of them to sit down in front of the desk and they did so hesitantly. There was a beeping sound to their left, and Cid rose up and walked towards the source. "Would either of you like some coffee? It's much better than the stuff in the cafeteria, I feel."

"Headmaster, why did you call us here?" Cid chuckled, though the hand holding his cup of coffee seemed shakier than it should have been, and this didn't go unnoticed between the two of them.

"You've always been the type to get down to business, haven't you Squall?" Sitting back down in his chair, he placed the cup down and gazed at Squall and Seifer silently for a few seconds, before continuing in a more quiet voice,

"…have you noticed that a lot of SEEDS have been out of Garden lately?" Squall's thoughts went to the conversation the girls from the lift had been having. Seifer didn't look overly surprised, so Squall figured he must've put two and two together as well.

"Yeah; what of it?" Seifer asked in his normal, bored tone.

"Well, with so many units out our workforce is running low, and there are more missions than there are people to complete them. Among these are some rather important basic ones that should not be ignored…"

"So?" Cid sighed.

"I know that this is a highly unorthodox request to make, but with this kind of situation I see little choice. You two are some fairly promising students, so it shouldn't be too surprising…"

Squall was getting somewhat annoyed at how long this was taking. "What is the request?"

Squall's cool words seemed to put Cid's thoughts back on track, and when he replied his voice was stronger and less hesitating.

"We need you two to take a mission. It's a small, extremely basic one, with little to no risk. I am aware that only SEEDS are allowed to take missions, but with our people so spread out, there seems no other way…"

Squall was shocked though he didn't show it, and Seifer, when he spoke next, sounded like he couldn't believe what he had heard either.

"Headmaster, are you telling us that we're to go on a _SEED mission? _By _ourselves?_" Cid nodded.

"Exactly. And now that you understand, shall we move on to explaining the situation?"

* * *

_What has been happening to the world these past few days?_ First a forgiving Seifer, then a _concerned_ Seifer, and now a SEED mission assigned to non-SEEDS…Squall was really starting to think he had been dreaming all along. He turned his gaze to Seifer in the driver's seat, who looked completely calm but for the half-smirk half-grin present on his face as he drove the car along the familiar road to Balamb.

Their mission sounded simple enough. Apparently suspicious people had been hanging around in town and Cid was concerned that they may be up to something, so Seifer and Squall were to follow these people around and try to figure out what they're up to, then report it back to Garden. Squall could understand Cid's concern due to the fact that Balamb was an extremely small town…a village really, which meant that if strangers were hanging around, the only thing they could possibly be hanging around for would be Garden itself.

Squall turned his eyes towards the scenery as they drove by. No, the mission wouldn't be a problem…but on the other hand…

_A whole day stuck with Seifer…it'll be a miracle if we don't kill each other first._

* * *

They reached Balamb in the late afternoon. Seifer parked the car by the docks near the hotel and they both walked up to the building…the largest in the whole town. Normally Balamb was a victim of fairly cold sea breezes, but for once it seemed the opposite. The sun was bright and it was so warm that Squall was almost tempted to take off his jacket. Of course, he was glad he didn't when he stepped into the air-conditioned hotel lobby and got blasted by the fans. They walked up to the manager at the desk.

"We need two rooms for the night." Squall rolled his eyes as Seifer barked out the sentence like he was giving orders. The man didn't even bother to look up at them as he moved around papers.

"That'll be 560 gil." Seifer pulled out his wallet and seemed to be counting his money. Squall did the same, then turned to Seifer.

"…how much do you have?"

"Two-hundred. You?" Squall resisted the urge to face-palm.

"…two-hundred." Seifer brought the palm of his hand to his forehead.

"Well…fuck." He turned back to the manager. "Just one room then, I guess."

"Then that'll be 250 gil please."

* * *

Squall sighed as he sunk onto a bench outside the train station. Three hours later and he had yet to see one stranger in town, and when Seifer sunk down beside him he got the feeling that it had been the same way for him as well.

"This mission really sucks." Squall nodded his head in agreement, too tired to feel like saying it out loud. Squall let his head lull back against the bench and closed his eyes. The next thing he knew Seifer was shaking his shoulder.

"You're going to hurt your neck sleeping like that." Squall opened his eyes.

"I wasn't sleeping." Seifer rolled his eyes.

"You've been sleeping for the past forty minutes Princess." Squall rubbed at his eyes and sat up properly, looking at the sky. Sure enough, the sun had sunk further and the first few stars were becoming visible. He turned to gaze at Seifer who was looking at him in a way Squall couldn't describe properly. "…go to the hotel without me. I want to take one last look around before the day ends."

Squall was ready to argue against the other boy's command, but when stood up and wobbled from sudden dizziness, he decided that maybe Seifer did have the right idea. Nodding to him, Squall made his way back to the hotel, trying to not get his hopes up that maybe he would sleep better outside the Garden.

Reaching their shared room, Squall kicked off his shoes and threw off his jacket, then fell over onto the bed, not even bothering to get under the blanket he was so exhausted. The last thing he saw before his eyes shut was the electric clock on the bedside table, reading 'five-o-clock'.

* * *

Squall's eyes cracked open at the sound of the room's door opening. In the faint traces of the moonlight streaming through the window he could make out the shape of Seifer standing in the doorway, although something about his posture seemed off. Squall sat up and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Seifer? Everything…alright?" Seifer's footsteps echoed across the wooden floor, and before Squall could look up to see why the boy was so quiet two hands came down on his shoulders, pushing him back down on the bed as Seifer's body pressed down against his.

Squall noticed several things—the first being that Seifer reeked of alcohol, the second being that although Seifer's body was very warm, his hands which had been put on either side of Squall's face, were freezing cold. Squall tried to shift his position, but Seifer, despite how bad his drunken reflexes could be, still weighed more and he found it almost impossible.

There was silence between them. Squall wasn't sure why he wasn't speaking up—protesting. But the moonlight showering through the window bathed the two of them, and Squall found himself unable to look away from Seifer's face. Despite the alcohol he had clearly drank, his appearance seemed strangely pale and his eyes darker. _His eyes…_ There was torment in those eyes like Squall could never have imagined seeing in the Seifer he knew.

Seifer was looking at him closely, not unlike he had in the elevator hours earlier. He was trying to find something in Squall, he could tell. But Squall couldn't imagine what the boy could be searching for, and he hoped silently that his eyes weren't quite as revealing as a drunken Seifer's were.

The silence was unnerving Squall and the atmosphere of the room, heavy, so finally Squall tried to speak up.

"Sei-"

Seifer's name was left hanging unfinished in the air as Squall was cut off by warm lips pressed against his own and the taste of alcohol. His eyes shot wide-open in shock before a strange kind of calm came over him, and before Squall could push away Seifer or spring up himself, his body seemed to become possessed, and refusing to listen to rationality his arms went around Seifer's body, his hands gripping the boy's back as he pressed his mouth more strongly against Seifer's, closing his eyes.

Seifer took control as his mouth forced Squall's open and his tongue invaded Squall's mouth, exploring it madly as Squall followed along, doing the same to Seifer's despite the bitter taste of whatever he had been drinking coating the inside of the other boy's mouth. Seifer's lips left Squall's and began trailing down the side of his neck and when they reached his collar bone, a sensitive spot, Squall gasped, and a moment of clarity came over him. His arms still being around Seifer, Squall used it to make the boy roll over so that they were both lying on their sides, facing each other.

Squall's heartbeat was rapid and his body felt like it was burning, but he gazed steadily at Seifer and said,

"Seifer…you're drunk."

Seifer raised an eyebrow. "So?" Squall sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You probably don't even know what you're doing right now…get some sleep." Squall rolled over so that he wasn't facing Seifer, but as he closed his eyes and felt Seifer shift to lie on his back, he heard Seifer whisper softly,

"…and you do?"

Squall lay awake, eyes open long after Seifer had fallen asleep beside him. The three words the boy had offhandedly said did more damage than Seifer had probably imagined they would…because he was right. Squall forced his eyes closed, his fists clenched.

_I…_

_I don't know what I'm doing…_


	7. Chapter 6: Distractions

_**Chapter 6: Distractions**_

When Seifer woke up it was to a sunlit room, an empty bed, and one hell of a hangover. Groaning and putting his arm over his face to block the light, he rolled over onto his stomach, letting his face press into the mattress which smelled of cheap detergent and Squall. The thought brought Seifer some amusement. _Didn't realize Leonhart even had a scent..._ His facial muscle's movement reminded him of the aching migraine, and struggling up into a sitting position, he rubbed at his head, taking a deep breath and briefly closing his eyes. _...okay, looking back on it now, maybe I shouldn't have drunk __**that**__ much...not that hangovers have ever really been a problem..._Of course, when Seifer took another breath it all came rushing back to him and he found himself blanching. _Fuck...Leonhart is going to kill me..._ Falling back onto the bed, he closed his eyes. _That...was not what I meant to...it wasn't supposed to...fuck. _Bringing one hand to rub at his left eye, the other pressed against his face, fingers trailing down to his lips.

_He kissed back. _Seifer grimaced. _...at this rate, he might-_

Seifer wasn't sure what to expect when he came downstairs and into the dining area, where Squall sat, sipping at some coffee and reading the newspaper. He knew that he should play it off—make jokes about it, probably make fun of Squall's reaction to it...make it all seem normal. Approaching his classmate, he opened his mouth, but Squall beat him to the punch.

"Good, you're finally up." Standing up and handing Seifer the cup of coffee, Squall placed the newspaper on the table and stretched before walking towards the exit, and before Seifer could even utter a word, Squall continued, "...found them this morning. They'll be taking the eleven-thirty train to Timber, so we have a good-" he checked his watch, "hour and a half to observe them before reporting back to Headmaster Cid." Squall turned back to gaze at him, raising an eyebrow and with the closest expression to a smirk he could probably get on his face.

"Think you feel well enough to tag along?" Chugging the cup of coffee in one go and slamming it back onto the table, Seifer wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grimacing, walked past Squall, strolling through the doors.

"Okay, let's do this."

* * *

The stake-out proved to be a near waste of time and a cause of irritation. The strangers seemed to be acting completely normal—just waiting around for their train and talking. The only thing that really made them different from other travelers was the fact that they were speaking in a language Squall and Seifer had never heard before...which Squall had to admit, he did find a bit worrisome. After all, they had foreign language training at Garden...they were supposed to be able to recognize any language used on the planet.

Seifer on the other hand didn't seem the least bit concerned. On the contrary, he was barely paying attention to the targets, instead focusing on something—someone else. Squall sighed in frustration as he felt Seifer's fingers touching his face before taking hold of the hand and throwing it off, turning to glare.

"How is your skin that soft, anyway? That's not natural Princess." Squall rubbed at his face tiredly.

"I take it you didn't get totally wasted last night, then."

"On my first mission? I'm reckless, not stupid Leonhart." Squall rolled his eyes.

"One in the same."

Quite suddenly Seifer's face was directly in front of Squall's, his jade-green eyes gazing directly into Squall's. They were close enough to each other that Squall could feel Seifer's breath, and without warning he found his heartbeat was ridiculously loud and fast like the night before, and he had the urge to back up...it _was_ to back up, right? Seifer smirked, his forehead pressing against Squall's. When he spoke his voice still remained haughty, but was also the softest Squall had ever heard it, and it made his skin crawl.

"...didn't hear you calling it that last night, Princess." Squall opened his mouth to respond, but before he could get words out the sound of hurried footsteps and something being dragged towards their direction made them both wake out of their own little distraction and notice that they're targets had moved and multiplied.

"Where the hell did they come from?!" Seifer motioned towards the four that had joined to original two targets. Squall motioned for the other boy to lower his voice.

"...I'm more concerned with what they were carrying." As Squall mentioned it, two of the strangers placed the large bag they were carrying between them down, and opening it, pulled what was inside it out, laying it on the ground.

...or rather, laying her down.

Quistis.

Seifer went to move but Squall grabbed him tight by the upper arm, holding him back, even though he wanted nothing more than to do the same. Seifer looked down at him, and Squall found himself surprised at how angry he appeared.

"We can't just rush in—it'd be six to two, and we have no idea how trained these guys are...but we can probably assume it's enough to take down at least one completely trained SEED. Also, if we alert them to the fact that Garden's onto them, they may run town and we'll lose any chance we have of tracking and finding them." Seifer looked like he wanted nothing more than to punch Squall in the face, but after a split second, he nodded in understanding, relaxing under Squall's hold. Seifer turned his gaze back to Quistis's unmoving figure lying on the cement next to the train that was about to take off.

"We've got to report to Cid...right away."

* * *

Cid gazed at the ghostly figure in front of him and felt like hanging himself in shame. It was the same boy as the one he had talked to a day earlier...the same, yet so different—so much older, so scarred, so...tired. Cid looked down at his quaking hands, ignoring the tears leaking from his eyes, the only thought able to go through his mind being _"I caused this...I caused all of this...I made him this way. I'm a monster."_

"Cid—you've got to listen to me!" Cid looked up into the ancient eyes of Squall Leonhart and nodded once. Squall sighed.

"You must send Seifer and I to rescue Trepe and the other SEEDS. It's the only chance to reverse this...to reverse all of this." Cid rubbed at his face.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't. But anything is better than giving up, after coming this far." The headmaster sighed.

"Squall...I-" The Squall in front of him—the Commander of Balamb Garden—spun around to gaze at the door, before fading from sight the way he had first appeared, and without even a minute to calm down the office door was thrown open, and Cid found himself face-to-face with a younger, softer, but still far too responsible Squall and his counterpart, undoubtedly back from the mission in Balamb. Shaking his head, Cid motioned to the two seats in front of his desk.

"Well then, let's hear about it."

* * *

"Don't you think it's strange?" Squall spoke up from where he was lying on the top bunk-bed in their train compartment, staring up at the ceiling.

"Very." Came the sound of Seifer's voice from the bed below him. "But why should we complain about it? It's what we wanted, and it's not a chance most students at Garden get. Hell, maybe if we do a good enough job we'll get promoted to SEED right away!" Squall shook his head.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up...that would require Cid telling the board that he let us go on the mission in the first place... If we do manage to succeed, against all odds, he'll probably cover the whole thing up." Seifer snorted.

"Way to think positive, Princess."

"Shut-up Seifer."

And he did, leaving Squall with his confused thoughts and the empty silence of the room. There had been something bothering him for a while since the meeting with Cid, although it happened right before then. The moment they had reached the outside of the office and Squall reached out for the doorknob, for a split second Squall could have sworn the room temperature dropped a good thirty degrees and that two, cold, golden eyes had been staring him down from in front of the door. But the moment he blinked they were gone, and everything seemed normal.

What bothered Squall wasn't that something like that happened.

He was bothered because he felt like it had happened before.

_a/n: So the plot-revamping for this fic is mostly done and thankfully my schedule this quarter isn't nearly as demanding as fall's, so expect a new chapter every two or so weeks_


End file.
